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Elektra
directed by Rob Bowman
starring Jennifer Garner, Terence Stamp, Kirsten Prout
Regency

But Elektra, the flick that Garner geeks and comic-book fans have been lusting for since Garner/Elektra's role in 2003's Daredevil, is boring. And awful. It's difficult to determine just where to begin explaining why this latest Marvel Comics entry is so terrible. The whole thing is a mess, from beginning to end. The viewer catches up with Elektra an indeterminate number of years after her death at the hands of Bullseye, as seen in Daredevil. She's been mystically resurrected by the Man Without Fear's blind sensei, Stick (Terence Stamp), and, through a series of flashbacks, we see how Elektra's remarkable hand-to-hand combat skills are honed at his woodsy outdoor dojo. However, Stick casts his sociopathic protégé out of the school, and Elektra becomes a cold-blooded ninja assassin-for-hire.

An unusual hit-assignment comes at a difficult time for Elektra, as she is increasingly besieged by long-forgotten memories of her traumatic childhood. When the troubled killer learns that her would-be victims are a father (Goran Visnjic, TV's "ER") and daughter (Kirsten Prout) whom she'd hesitatingly befriended, Elektra just can't put an arrow through them. Rather, the obsessive-compulsive ass-kicker winds up defending the mysterious family from a) Other, less skilled ninjas and b) A group of super-bad emissaries of the Hand, a mystical Dark Side that Elektra has a confusing history with.

Garner could have saved this snoozefest, as well, if she had been given anything remotely resembling substance to work with. The movie will naturally attract those who tune in to her TV show every week, but if they hope to see a scantily clad sexpot breeze through a compelling plot, they'd best stay in front of the boob tube. Garner only dons Elektra's eye-popping red costume twice — and briefly, at that.

The makers of this celluloid "sure thing" gone criminally awry should be forced to pay some sort of restitution, perform some act of penance for what they've done to one of Marvel Comics' tastiest characters. There isn't one redeemable aspect of Elektra, nothing about it to recommend to anyone -- don't even bother to rent it; if one just has to fulfill some masochistic urge, at least wait until Elektra comes to USA or TNT. The wait shouldn't be long.
