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News Archive
News for the week of 08.11.03 - 08.17.03
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Aug 15, 2003
Justin Makes Creepy Cameron Seem Like A Chickenhawk
from the Throw A Muzzle On The Senile Bag, Fer The Luvva.... dept.
In a gaffe that will likely signal the end of the JT/CD (nicknames patent pending) relationship glasnost with the press, Timberlake's markish grandmother Sadie Bomar revealled that, hey, "Justin has had a crush on Diaz since he was 13 years old," all agog over her performance in The Mask (the Jim Carrey one, not the disfigured kid one). In fact, "Timberlake covered the walls of his bedroom with posters of Cameron." How is thy story weird? Let me count the ways... Why is a teenager telling his grandmother about crushes on movie stars? Why is a star's grandmother throwing out these truly bizarre anecdotes like birdseed to pigeons? Why isn't a press agent or publicist thinking about how this lil' revelation is going to make both Justin and Cameron seem a little... off? Is there actually someone out there who found something redeeming about The Mask? The mind often boggle.
posted by kittydeathstar at 05:25:34 PM | More Music News »
Aug 14, 2003
Kelly Osbourne Tour Kaput: Nepotistic Crap Is A Health Risk
from the Daddy, Daddy, Make Ink 19 Be Fucking Nice To Me! dept.
Singing superstar sensation (*cough*) Kelly Osbourne has cancelled her upcoming UK tour due to unspecified "health" reasons. Perhaps sucking and blowing at the same time was too taxing. Maybe Kelly's father could be coaxed in to fill the dates, I've heard he'll do in a pinch. MTV News was the picture of diplomacy with this news tidbit, in fact they've got all sorts of... fuck me, look at Paris Hilton's lips!! Christ, she's singlehandedly caused a world collagen shortage. Look at the picture! Hey Paris, Hulk Hogan wants his grotesque tan back. My god, she looks like a fucking bleached-out, junkie ogre! With bizarrely enormous lips, I can't say it enough.
posted by kittydeathstar at 06:55:05 PM | More Music News »
Aug 13, 2003
Seminal emo/post-rock group Elliott disband
from the I'm too depressed to think of a catchy department name right now, okay? (Well then you're fired! - ed.) dept.
Elliott will be playing one more European tour and one more week of shows in the Eastern United States (probably around 7-10 dates) with Drum Kan and then parting ways.
posted by luceluna at 01:10:52 PM | More Band News »
Courtney Love experiences the horror, the horror.
from the Obvious All Along dept.
A more-than-usually befuddled Courtney Love is trying to tally up her bastard brood of cousins, after learning that once-promiscous and now-reclusive Marlon Brando happens to be her grandfather. All of us at Ink 19 are fervently hoping that Love will soon retire to a Seattle villa soon and fulfills her genetic destiny.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 01:10:13 PM | More Band News »
Ricky Martin Sports A New "Beard"
from the Bend It Like Bangkok dept.
A picture is worth a thousand mean words! Ricky Martin sent our unintentional humor-at-the-expense-of-others-meter into overdrive when he was photographed by the Associated Press in Bangkok, Thailand (!) at a soccer match (?) in the company of a blond-haired, female, "unidentified friend" (?!?) - with much awkward and limp hand-holding ensuing. Official: Facial hair is the new Scott Thorson!
posted by kittydeathstar at 10:38:25 AM | More Music News »
Aug 12, 2003
Dead Kennedys to reunite?
from the Is it cold in here? dept.
I'll qualify this by saying this is by no means an announcement of a reunion... but it seems that at least one side of the DK/Jello Biafra spat (guess which) wants a reunion to coincide with the band's 25th anniversary. I'm sure there will be a response from the other side shortly, we'll see what develops.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 11:30:13 AM | More Band News »
America's Least Wanted
from the Todd WHO? dept.
Is this a genuine service, or a thinly-disguised career dead pool? Yes, for twenty bucks you can have one of these Hollywood celebrities call up your ma and wish her a happy birthday. For an extra tenner, they'll even read your scipt -- have them call up your parole officer and insist you were helping them do yardwork all day Tuesday.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 09:09:25 AM | More Ink Links »
Aug 11, 2003
Six Flags Over Marilyn Manson
from the You Must Be This Tall dept.
Marilyn Manson will have to sit out the Six Flags Darien Lake stop on the 2003 Ozzfest tour, as amusement park management says the shock rocker's act is not appropriate for the venue. As a result, Manson will be riding the teacups and screaming like a little girl while tourmates Cradle of Filth and Ozzy Osbourne provide park-goers with decent, wholesome family entertainment.
