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News Archive
News for the week of 09.08.03 - 09.14.03
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Sep 12, 2003
John Ritter Dead at 54
from the Happens In Three's dept.
John Ritter, best known for sitcoms such as Three's Company and the current 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter has unexpectedly died of a previously undiagnosed heart ailment. He would have turned 55 on Wednesday.
posted by Ink19Julio at 08:49:44 AM | More Obituaries »
Johnny Cash Dead at 71
from the In Black dept.
Country music icon Johnny Cash died at 1 a.m. this morning due to complications from diabetes, his manager said. His death comes only a few months after the death of his longtime wife, June Carter Cash.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 04:59:15 AM | More Obituaries »
Sep 11, 2003
Evil Scheming Pirates Pay Little Girl's RIAA Settlement
from the The Fiends! dept.
Kids, this story has more miles than my Volvo, and like that beater, it looks like it will see many more. P2P United, an industry association formed by depraved, murderous file-trading music pirates, has stepped up with their checkbook and covered underprivileged honor student Brianna "Mata Hari" LaHara's $2,000 settlement with the RIAA. Solid gold publicity never came so cheap.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 09:13:28 PM | More Know Your Rights »
Britney To Go Trance With Moby, Will Suckity Suck Suck Suck
from the Please Don't Boo My Crappy Collaborators, Y'all.... dept.
Desperation is in the air. Britney Spears has drafted in Moby, R. Kelly and the Matrix to wri... err, help out on her new record, apparently basing the list on a raggedy 1999 issue of Rolling Stone that was lying around. (Okay, yes the Matrix weren't all "buzz" in 1999, but fuck them, they suck anyway, and always will.) When queried about the overall sound, Britney chirped, "I'd describe it as trance-y. Kind of a vibe record." She then put on a big, ugly Dr. Seuss hat and danced awkardly off, glowsticks in sweaty hands.
posted by kittydeathstar at 03:48:59 PM | More Music News »
Vanessa Carlton To Go Gothic, Will Still Suck
from the My Style Consultants Are In The Middle Of A Heavy "Magic: The Gathering" Session Right Now... dept.
Vanessa Carlton posted a gushy message on her official forum, which reveals how her boyfriend got rid of the dead mouse in her apartment (OMG! LOL! Gross!) and also her intention to pursue a more "gothic" sound on her next record. What the fucking fuck?? Gothic like Carson McCullers? Gothic like Christian Death? Gothic like Sisters of Mercy? Gothic like shitty goddamn Marilyn Manson? Hot Topic, here she comes, and she's got a platinum card? One thing's for sure, this "sly" reinvention is sure to suck.
posted by kittydeathstar at 09:25:25 AM | More Music News »
RIAA Sued Over "Amnesty" Program
from the Do it for Brianna! dept.
The suit, filed in the Marin Superior Court of California, charges that the RIAA's program is a deceptive and fraudulent business practice, and that it is "designed to induce members of the general public...to incriminate themselves and provide the RIAA and others with actionable admissions of wrongdoing under penalty of perjury while (receiving)...no legally binding release of claims...in return," according to the complaint.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 06:00:00 AM | More Know Your Rights »
Patton and Wiedlin, Together At Last!
from the Chuck The Hopper! dept.
In an effort to reach the "16 to 30 year-old audience," the production team of Firecracker has replaced former leading man Dennis Hopper with former Faith No More and Mr. Bungle "vocalist" Mike Patton. The brooding Patton will star opposite former Go Go's guitarist Jane Wiedlin.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 05:24:16 AM | More Screen News »
Sep 10, 2003
Pixies reunite for tour, album to follow
from the Please Don’t Suck And Ruin My Adolescent Dreams dept.
Fresh off the news of a possible My Bloody Valentine reunion, fellow indie-rock icons, The Pixies, recently announced in kind. With an upcoming tour in April 2004, and a possible new album around the corner, all sins committed in the name of rock throughout the late-90s, after the Pixie's demise, will hopefully be absolved by the reuniting of this quarrelsome quartet. In related news, my manta ray is, in fact, quite all right.
posted by DylanGarret at 11:33:30 AM | More Band News »
Little Girl, RIAA settle
from the That Settles It dept.
Sensing that perhaps it has really stepped in it this time, the RIAA has rushed to settle the lawsuit it brought forth against a 12-year-old file trader. Her mother will pay $2,000 to make the nightmare go away. Disgusting and perverse music pirate Brianna commented: "I am sorry for what I have done. I love music and don't want to hurt the artists I love." That's right girly, leave the artist-hurting to the pros.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 08:44:39 AM | More Know Your Rights »
Cameron Diaz Turning Into O.J. Simpson Character From Naked Gun!
from the Good Work, Nordberg! dept.
Cameron and Justin's dream vacation in Hawaii is rapidly turning into a Leslie Nielson spoof (he's playing JT, of course). Mere days after breaking her nose in a surfing accident (Britney? Did you trick that surfboard?), Diaz injured her foot while horsing around with boyfriend Justin on the beach. Sources close to the couple confirm that by tomorrow evening, Timberlake will either give Cameron a concussion while awkwardly trying to carry her over the threshold of their hotel room, or send a wheelchair-bound Diaz careening down a flight of stairs after an affectionate pat on the back goes terribly wrong. She will then fly into the air comically and land in a painful fashion. Young love and pratfalls...
posted by kittydeathstar at 07:04:33 AM | More Music News »
Sep 9, 2003
Jessica Simpson To Ruin Fanastic Four Movie
from the Lemme Tell Ya Man.... Corman's Was THE Definitive Version *Snicker* dept.
Simple as that. According to a fistful of film-buzz websites, the talentless Jessica Simpson's name and mannish cleft chin are being bandied about as possibilities to fill the role of Susan Storm, the Invisible Woman, in the Fantastic Four movie. We look forward to see her burping, farting and staring her way blankly through 2 hours on the big screen. How about hubby Nick as Paste Pot Pete?
posted by kittydeathstar at 02:06:35 PM | More Screen News »
Marylin Manson Not Guilty... of Battery
from the They Loved It In Peoria dept.
A Minnesota jury determined Monday (September 8) afternoon that Marilyn Manson did not commit battery when he rubbed his crotch against a security guard's head at an October 2000 concert.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 06:18:53 AM | More Music News »
RIAA Sues Little Girl
from the Feel big now? Huh? dept.
As part of their dramatic "shock and awe" campaign of pursuing legal action against a batch of dirty, rotten, stinking file traders, the RIAA has filed suit against Brianna LaHara, a 12-year-old New York City honors student. "I got really scared. My stomach is all turning," Brianna said last night when asked for comment. The RIAA wasted no time in requesting additional PR battallions from the UN.
posted by HisCheapMoves at 06:10:22 AM | More Know Your Rights »
Sep 8, 2003
Warren Zevon Dead at 56
from the Excitable Boy dept.
Singer/songwriter Warren Zevon died Sunday (Sept. 7) in Los Angeles. He was 56. Zevon was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer in August of last year.
