Do you want to write for Ink 19?
News Archive
News for the week of 09.22.03 - 09.28.03
« Previous Week || Next Week »
Sep 26, 2003
Acne Will Tear Us Apart Again!
from the Fuck Clearasil, I Needs The Gossip! dept.
Hahahahahahaha *choke* hahahahahaha! According to a very reputable source, Cameron "Nordberg" Diaz goes into panicked hiding when her trademark acne flares up, even secreting herself from Justin "Do You Want Fries With That?" Timberlake! "Cameron doesn't realize she's pulling away from Justin but he's sensing her withdrawal and it's setting off alarm bells," a pal revealed. "What's worse is that he's been hurt before and he adores Cammie so much he's becoming slightly paranoid - he wants to know what's wrong as he can't believe someone so beautiful could become depressed over a few spots." Don't tease me so!
posted by kittydeathstar at 11:33:33 AM | More Music News »
Robert Palmer dead at 54
from the Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the News dept.
Singer Robert Palmer, best known for '80s classics like "Addicted to Love," "Simply Irresistible," and "Bad Case of Loving You" has unexpectedly died of a heart attack at age 54.
posted by Ink19Julio at 06:55:06 AM | More Obituaries »
Sep 25, 2003
Rock Against Bush - Tour to help oust the Prez
from the Those wacky pop-punk bands dept.
Fat Mike is recruiting some of the prettiest faces in punk to help get rid of one of the ugliest faces in politics, George W. Bush. Alkaline Trio, Sum 41, Green Day, and others will be recording songs for a Rock Against Bush compilation and they will be playing shows as part of a tour that will go along with it. George W. was unavailable for comment but Bill Clinton was seen dusting off his saxophone for a possible jaunt at forming a horn section for Good Charlotte.
posted by JoshComics at 09:40:31 PM | More Tour News »
Britney Pulls A "Jay-Z" On Rolling Stone Publisher
from the Please Don't Boo My Meat-Head Bodyguards, Y'all... dept.
She's like a rapper gone mad, stabbing a record executive... or something! Anyway, Rolling Stone threw a party for Brit, to celebrate her eleventy-twelth appearance on the cover in a state of awkward undress, as an interviewer throws sticky softballs at her that would even make Benny Hill ashamed. Anyway, the night was going swimmingly until Brit decided she really needed to get booed again, so "her bodyguards formed a phalanx around her and shoved everyone in front of her out of the way. It was like she was the president or something. Rob Gregory was shoved aside along with everyone else." Hahaha! Boo her, Mexico! Boo her, London! Boo her, New York City!
posted by kittydeathstar at 04:06:06 PM | More Music News »
Christina Aguilera: Fast Food Is Fun And Sensual!
from the Didn't 9 1/2 Weeks Have A Double Cheeseburger Scene? dept.
Christina Aguilera carelessly whispered to the Sun about her current eating habits: "I often eat fast food, like hamburgers or something. I couldn’t care less about stupid diets. Eating is sensual and fun." Yeah, greasy fast food and blocked arteries sure as sensual as shit, man. Nothing's sadder than a fucking fatty in denial...
posted by kittydeathstar at 02:49:38 PM | More Music News »
Dead Milkmen release 'Now we are 20'
from the Must have it dept.
Those strapping chaps from Philly (not the French Prince and DJ Jazzy Jif) the Dead Milkmen, are back with another collection of songs. There is some old stuff, some newer stuff, and some stuff that is probably better off listened to underwater. The Dead Milkmen are twenty years old and reading this makes you feel just a little bit older.
posted by JoshComics at 01:58:27 PM | More Music News »
David Letterman and Friends Fling M-80's at Bear
from the I wish this was caught on film dept.
David Letterman probably wished it was Ed Asner in his kitchen the other morning but it wasn't; it was a bear. He had called for help and some young punk had eventually decided throwing M-80's would discourage the wild beast from continuing to read Letterman's rotten Top Ten lists. It worked and they were able to salvage the lists, which were most likely sent out from the home office in Bumblefuck, Iowa.
posted by JoshComics at 06:10:07 AM | More Screen News »
Sep 23, 2003
Bennifer Planning Bizarre Murder/Suicide?
from the Shotgun Weeding dept.
Heads turned in a courthouse near Savannah, Georgia, as Ben Lopez and J Af showed up to discuss a license -- a gun license. Concerned about the lack of genuine interest in their sordid details now that their stupendously expensive wedding has been called off (stupendously and expensively, natch), the couple decided that a bit of gun-control muddying of the waters was in order.
