Nov 7, 2003

Popbitch Nails Pop...um... Bitch?

from the They Said "Addled".... Mwah Ha Ha Ha dept.

In the sage eyes of popbitch.com, the real reason Quitney Spears pulled out of her European promotional engagements was neither exhaustion nor drugs, but the fact that the British media wasn't taking her seriously. Quoth the popbitch: "In Britney's addled mind, the fact that she has staged a cheap lesbo stunt with Madonna means that she is now a 'serious artist'." But what about the puns, Britney? Surely you appreciated the puns? Humorous captions? Covert photos of you leaving airports? Hmmph, you're no fun anymore.

posted by kittydeathstar at 01:47:06 PM | More Music News »

Nov 6, 2003

Kelly Osbourne "Fancies" Her Dad!

from the It's Like When You Played Ed Wood, Except You'll Piss On The Fucking Alamo.... dept.

Kelly Osbourne, in an interview on British television, gabbed about her shortlist to play her father in a movie based on his life: "Well, it's been between Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp and Jack Black." Oooh, risky casting! Oh yeah, Colin fucking Farrell, I can see it now! Um... Johnny Depp gets Kelly's vote, though, "because he's hot." The quick-witted tv presenter (you would NEVER see this on E!) then inquired if she fancied her dad! Hahahaha! I'm winded.

posted by kittydeathstar at 02:42:13 PM | More Screen News »

Deadly Knife Fight Over Eminem T-Shirts

from the What'd you say about my mother? dept.

An argument over a Turkish peddler's sales pitch -- in which the word 'Eminem' was taken at its Turkish translation -- ended in tragedy when the vendor was repeatedly stabbed. The victim died shortly thereafter; authorities are still looking for the perpetrator.

posted by HisCheapMoves at 10:58:56 AM | More Band News »

One Poser Hack Splits Up With Another Poser Hack

from the Mummy, Destroy Him And His Crappy Band! dept.

Hey! Kelly Osbourne split up with her second rock n'roll boyfriend, that dude from the Transplants who makes the most unconvincing gang signs in the world. Sheesh. Feel free to read her rationale, I was zzzzzzzzzz-ing within seconds. I just thought it was funny that those two ugly, talentless bastards thought they could do better than one another. Oh, so now I'M the douche???

posted by kittydeathstar at 10:27:06 AM | More Band News »

Nov 5, 2003

Requiem For Quitney Spears?

from the When It Comes To Clever Headlines, WE BOW To the Brit Tabloids dept.

Oh man, do me a huuuuuge favor and scroll halfway down the page to see Britney looking all tired and puffy. God BLESS those sneaky tabloid snappers! Anyway, the news is that Quitney had to cancel a boatload of promotional appearances to hype her new record and even pull out of hosting the European Music Awards. And the doomsayers converged! The finger is pointed at her hard-partying ways. Tsk, tsk. Said one record company insider: "This is a disaster in commercial terms. Britney's record sales have nose-dived recently. She really needed to work hard to plug this album. She is absolutely exhausted and felt in her condition there was no option but to fly home. But there's a feeling that her wild partying hasn't helped things. You can only stumble home at 4am so many times before it catches up with you." Ouch! A moralizing record exec! Who woulda thunk it?

posted by kittydeathstar at 03:15:13 PM | More Music News »

Your Red Yarn Bracelet Has Fallen Into My Cristal Bottle

from the Ancient Religions, Dahling, Hipper Than Botox dept.

So, while filming that insipid Gap ad, Madonna haranged Missy Elliott, a Baptist (heh), for hours on the wonders of the Kabbalah, that kerrazzzy sect the Material Girl is just gaga over. Madonna's spiritual leader gave Missy a red yarn bracelet and got a firm promise that she would attend one of their... dunno... gatherings? Apparently Britney's all about the Kabbalah too. Is being famous really that boring that you have to go to such weirdo extremes? Yes.

posted by kittydeathstar at 07:09:28 AM | More Music News »

Nov 4, 2003

Looking For A Movie Shittier Than Glitter?

from the Pravda Spears, Comrades! dept.

Then Disney and Britney have got your number! Disney's ABC Family Channel has signed on to adapt "A Mother's Gift" to the small screen. That is, of course, the "biography" that Britney co-wrote with her mother, Lynne. Shooting will take place in Toronto for four weeks. Four weeks? My fucking god, some Ed Wood films had a more luxurious shooting schedule than that! Incidentally, in this biopic Britney will be a virgin until she's 39.

posted by kittydeathstar at 11:32:28 AM | More Screen News »

Nov 3, 2003

Dash Will Tear Them Apart!

from the Yer A Crummy Dog, Dash! dept.

So, yes, apparently Damon Dash is VERY interested in tearing all of his hip hop credibility to tiny lil' tatters. The word is that "Damon Dash's ex-lover Linda Williams warned David Beckham that the Roc-A-Fella records mogul is a 'violent druggie' and will likely try to steal his wife and former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham away." Lucky thing Beckham isn't a white teenager, or the taste would be thoroughly slapped out of his mouth by now. One more choice item, from this embittered songbird: "Victoria thinks this cool, hip-hop mogul can give her street cred." Hahahaha, that and baggy pants, Posh!

posted by kittydeathstar at 06:18:51 PM | More Music News »