She's not a diva, she's a Brand, you idiots! So sayeth Christina Aguilera's lawyers as they marched into the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office with an ambitious (cocaine) list of (cocaine) trademarked products (mountains of cocaine). Among the products on the list are: Christina Aguilera contact lenses, crayons and anti-perspirants; Christina Aguilera badminton sets, ski wear and body shapers; and Christina Aguilera panties, modeling clay and electronic multipleactivity toys. Woo Woo! I'll see you at Fashion Bug, STAT!