Ink Links

Is this a genuine service, or a thinly-disguised career dead pool? Yes, for twenty bucks you can have one of these Hollywood celebrities call up your ma and wish her a happy birthday. For an extra tenner, they'll even read your scipt -- have them call up your parole officer and insist you were helping them do yardwork all day Tuesday.

Tossing his diminutive derby into the ring, snack-size actor Gary Coleman has decided to run for Governor of California. His platform can best be described as... well, straight-talkin', as Coleman supports his points with such vivid rhetoric as extracting Belgium out of his adorable ass and inserting his size four-and-a-halfs into the asses of others.

Proving that the Dalai Lama is not that different from your average American, some Australian news site reports that the Dalai Lama has admitted that, in a lifetime dedicated to celibacy and non-violence, he has missed out on sex and that he shoots at hawks in anger.

"So neat and precise are the slices, and so definitely better than anyone could possibly slice by hand with a bread knife that one realizes instantly that here is a refinement that will receive a hearty and permanent welcome." More prophetic words have not been written. Happy 75th birthday, Sliced Bread!

Folks, I wish I could claim to have made up that headline. But that privilege goes to the people at USA Today. I can't say anymore about this, I stand before you humbled.

Chef Gary Schofield spent three days carving a 60cm high statue of The Lord of the Rings' evil wizard Saruman the White as part of his entry into the Culinary World Cup.

Who says the financial news can't be fun? Forbes Magazine has released a list of the 15 wealthiest fictional characters from literature, film, television, and folklore, including everyone from The Simpsons' Mr. Burns and Gilligan's Island's Thurston Howell III to Scrooge McDuck, Richie Rich, Bruce Wayne, and Lex Luthor.

Orange Recordings, an upstart in the web-based music industry, has made a virtually unprecedented leap in the unstoppable file sharing universe by allowing their entire catalog to be streamed for free from their website www.orangerecordings.com. More Details »

An imported species of millipede from the West Indies is flourishing in parts of South Florida, experts say. The capuchin and owl monkeys at Monkey Jungle like to rub the creatures on their fur, which sends them into a delirious state that lasts up to 30 minutes, kind of like how cats react to catnip.

...or you may argue that you can't be forgotten if nobody knew you in the first place. Band photos galore, with bonus stinging captions.

"Scientists have revealed a mysterious recording that they say could be the sound of a giant beast lurking in the depths of the ocean..."

If you're like me, I'm sure you've wondered: "Is there a way I could have my morning coffee in the shower?"

Through a special arrangement with Lucasfilm, Fernandes now offers the tackiest guitars this side of the galaxy! Use the force Luke, or at least a decent fuzzbox.

All Napster did was put the power to screw the artists in the hands of amateurs. Let the Moses Avalon Royalty Calculator show you how the real professionals do it...

This watch will get you to the nearest pub... but will it help get you home?

Think of the Time Cube as a 4-corner classroom  representing  the 4-corners of  Earth, wherein, stupid educators teach  erroneous 1-corner self aggrandizing singularity - that equates a deadly poison to Cubic humanity.

Behold the glory that is the ROCKLOPEDIA FAKEBANDICA, sixth revised, unabridged edition! Finally, all the fictional bands and singers from TV and movies listed in one convenient, scarily obsessive place. Why? It's the Internet, stupid! The Internet was created for such things as this!

This site provides diagrams of just about any guitarist (and bassist's) gear setup -- instruments, effects, amplifiers, speakers, what have you. Covers just about everyone from Hendrix to Melt Banana...

On November 1st, a group of Bloomington males made a pact to grow and maintain mustaches for six weeks. The mustaches are ordinary -- think Tom Selleck or Burt Reynolds -- but the idea behind them is not. "People will run a race for cancer or march for dimes," says mustache grower Ryan Nole. They'll ask for a dollar a mile, or whatever. Our group, Mustaches For Kids, follows this familiar logic. Each guy asks people to pledge money to charity for each day he keeps up his 'stash.'" More Details »